UN SECRETARY-GENERAL BAN KI-MOON
VISITS SIERRA LEONE -
The United Nations Chief Scribe, the Secretary-General of this world body, Mr Ban Ki-Moon begins a 2-day visit to Sierra Leone today during which he is expected to hold talks with the leader of Sierra Leone's smoke and mirrors President, Ernest Bai Koroma.
Mr Ban's visit is coming at a time when public confidence in the government appears to be on the wane and more importantly in the wake of the government's desire to revisit an incident that had already been dealt with by the Truth and Reconciliation Commission, the TRC - to wit the execution of 29 Sierra Leoneans in December 1992 - an incident which got the then ruling NPRC of Captain Valentine Strasser in really hot waters.
Don't take our word for it, but since we had noticed that the "praise-singing" internet outlets have decided to stay dumb on this visit, we can as well give you this imaginary conversation between His Excellency Dr Ernest Bai Koroma, PhD; BA General Div Three; SSQ; DDT; LORMEH; Fountain of Justice; Liberator of the People; President for 2 terms maybe for Life; etc etc and Mr Ban Ki-Moon
Ernest - Welcome Mr Secretary-General - I was just about to ask my ADC to remind you of my orders that you visit my country when I saw something on your website saying you would be coming. Thank you for coming.
Ban - I thank you most profusely for your gracious offer and I wish you well in bringing peace and prosperity to your country.
Ernest - Oh yes, our first priority is peace and development for a people who have been deprived by the SLPP for the past eleven years before we came in from the opposition to smash them out of office.
Ban (winces at the word "smash") - And who conducted the elections that brought you to power?
Ernest - Oh it was that useless government headed by Kabbah, a former employee of the UN...
Ban - I also work for that organisation
Ernest - Oh not your type. Kabbah learnt nothing from the ideals of your organisation.
Ban - And do I hear that you have done quite a lot for yourself - I don't mean wealth acquisition, but things that make you good for the people of Sierra Leone.
Ernest - Oh yes. You should take some time off to read about my achievements. In Sierra Leone, when we took over there were no roads, all foot and bush paths, everywhere was dark, so dark that even when it was daylight, the gloomy atmosphere made Sierra Leone a dark state. As soon as I came to power - all those things have changed. Sierra Leone can now boast of 24-hour clean and uninterrupted electricity all over the country, main and feeder roads are now everywhere and in fact during this visit, I shall be driving with you on the Bo-Masiaka highway which I negotiated for and completed under three years. Don't be surprised to see street lamps all the way on this 200-kilometre stretch of road.
Ban - I am impressed. What about your standing with the international community. Do they trust you?
Ernest - Quite a lot. I'm surprised you could ask such a question - that is why I say you should be taking time off your busy schedule to read about my reputation and achievements on such online outlets like Newstime Africa, Cocorioko, SLIMO, Sierra Leone PR and a host of others. Right now, as you may know I am involved in restructuring the United Nations and in Africa, the AU has given me the responsibility of not only restructuring that continental organisation but lecturing other Heads of State on the ethics of good governance, tolerance for the opposition, respect for women, respect for liberties, law and order and how to maintain the peace while being selfless in making all within the borders of the country happy and smiling every day all the way to the bank.
Ban - I see (really he had seen anything but lies, lies and more lies but nevertheless goes on). And how is the opposition doing? Are they taking their responsibilities seriously?
Ernest - What - an opposition. I grew up and loved the one-party system...but back to the opposition. We really do not have a body acting as such. The SLPP is in disarray, their leaders are not fit for purpose and besides, I am thinking of silencing them for good...
Ban - (getting a bit worried) And how do you want to do this?
Ernest - This goes back years when you did not even dream of becoming a Secretary-General. You know those boys, the military. My party then allowed them to have things their way giving them weapons and all what they asked for to pursue the war against the rebels of the RUF. They never scratched their heads for anything as we had always wanted to keep them and the people happy.
Ban (becoming agitated with beads of sweat beginning to form on his brow)...Yes...you were saying?
Ernest - In short, they - these ungrateful boys overthrew our government sending President Momoh into exile and treating him like scum. I need not tell you the relationship between the President and my household, the home I grew up in but these boys made many false statements which the welcoming people swallowed.
Ban - And now?
Ernest - It's payback time. They executed 29 people including the beloved Head of the Police Mr James Bambay Kamara and now we are going to try all those we suspect were involved.
Ban - But the TRC dealt with that?
Ernest - Not to my satisfaction and besides with elections scheduled for 2012, I do not want any opposition member becoming a bone in my throat as we say here
Ban - So
Ernest - I am going to try them using all means necessary and will hang some, quarter some, have some of them drawn and others hanged, quartered and drawn.
Ban - And the main aim?
Ernest - I need another term desperately. The way things are now, if I am removed through the ballot box, I shall have many things to answer for and I am not talking about corruption alone.
Ban - So?
Ernest - Here's the deal. Let the UN refuse to hear the voice of the opposition when we massively rig the next elections and help me get a second term. I shall then forget about revisiting certain sections of the TRC and all will be happy ever after.
Ban - I see (this time he really sees the ploy)...er...em...what about that Mabaylla incident in which more than fifty people died on the spot and others terribly wounded in September 1997?
Ernest - That never happened. I don't know what you're talking about.
Ban - Thank you Mr President. As you know, I shall be talking to the opposition as well as civil society groups to get a broader picture...
Ernest - What?...(and faints)
(We shall be bringing you more of this "conversation")
Endnote - The above may be fiction, but read between the lines.
The Sierra Herald would advise
all Sierra Leoneans who want to strengthen the fragile peace not to become a
part of any such process.
They have already lined up their false witness who would not bat an eyelid to lie on oath - such is the APC and they know we know them.
We watch with keen interest.